Want to know how to get free stuff? It's easy! We know it sounds bad, but all you have to do is sell out your friends. (By that we mean tell us about someone you know that you think could benefit from our forward-thinking brand approach.) Help us out, and when one of your friends or colleagues creates a new account with us, we'll send you various rewards and bribes. The more friends you bring us, the more you earn! Don't worry, your friends won't miss out on anything; we're going to bribe them to sell out their friends, too. Hey, it's only bad to bribe politicians and cops!!!